A Happy Camper
by Stubbi the Humble Chimneysweep
Summary: Anal. Oral. Lemon. Whee.
1. Chapter 1

**An Extremely Happy Camper**

**By Kady-sensei**

**HIIIIIII! It's me again, AND I BRING GIFTS OF PEACE! YAOI! Everyone loves yaoi! I own nothhhhing!**

**((Neko's POV))**

Uchiha Itachi. Probably the sexiest guy I've ever dated, capable of astounding a room full of sixteen teenage women, stunned into a silent stupor by just his _presense _... in _very_ tight leather pants and a mesh shirt, of course. With a mere sigh, he set off a crowd of twenty-nine spectators. By simply shrugging the strap of his shirt back onto his shoulder, after having it accidentally fall down, he had made an elevator of women pass out. With the effortless act of reaching to a high shelf at the library to retrieve a book, causing his shirt to lift up, exposing his flat stomach, he had left everyone in the library panting, drooling, and a few battling massive nosebleeds so powerful, it's amazing they didn't pass out on the spot.

And then there was that time we played street hockey with a few of the other guys at the outdoor court. There were about nine of us, sixteen, seventeen year old guys, plus three girls, around the same age. The girls, obviously, were placed on the 'shirts' team. Itachi and I were deemed 'skins'. That meant the removal of our shirts. The horde of women crowding into the bleachers was overwhelming, the snapping of the cameras was blinding, and the deafening scream from the crowd hurt my ears. A sweaty, shirtless, dirty Itachi, who was determined to win this hockey game. I know I'm not the only one who fantasized about that day ... even some of the other guys on the team couldn't tear their eyes off him.

But, oh, the best part? This man, who is viewed drool-worthy by men and women alike, wherever he goes, whatever he does, his appearance alone screams one word: _SEXY_. He is gorgeous, intelligent, athletic, caring, and very, _very_ good in bed. Which is a major plus. I gotta say.

But what is the best part? Well, the fact that he's all _mine_, of course. Mine, and mine only. He and I both exchange these words. Rather often, actually, expressed in crude statements of possession. 'Your ass belongs to me.', 'Nobody else can have you, 'cause you're mine.', 'I'll never let anyone else touch you! You're mine, right?'. These statements are thrown out whenever we feel the need to express our emotions.

The possession is just the ultimate icing to the cake. And speaking of icing ... one time, we were in the grocery store, and they were giving out free vanilla icing samples. I had accidentally got icing on my nose, and I wasn't aware of it. Itachi had noticed, and was so kind as to lick it off. In return, I dabbed icing on his cheek with my thumb, pulling him down by his shoulders so I could lick it off. We wound up kissing, then I got pushed into the nearest wall, and ... you can guess what happened from there. Use your imagination. We were kicked out of the store. Third time, actually. Then there was that time when-

**Oh.**

**My.**

**God.**

That was _so_ the door closing! Itachi must be hoooooome!

I bounded out of our room, and through the hallway, into the living room, and to the font door, where an exhausted Itachi stood, shrugging off his coat and kicking off his shoes. I hurled myself into his arms, and he _just _caught me, stumbling backwards until we fell down on the couch, me sprawled on top of him, snuggling up against his chest. He leaned upwards, pushing back hair off my forehead. He kissed it gently.

"I missed you too." he whispered softly.

I just smiled, kissing him once on each cheek, before pressing my cheek against his warm, clothed chest, absorbing his heat.

"Mmm ..." he purred, catching my attention. "I was thinking that we could go somewhere this weekend." He toyed with my hair, twisting it around his long fingers, kissing the top of my head.

"Yeah, it'd be nice to just escape for awhile." I admitted. "Go on vacation."

"And you know I'd love nothing more than to take you with me." Itachi informed me.

"Well, where d'you think we should go?" I asked, pulling his shirt down a little and running my tongue along his collarbone. He jerked my head up sharply, being careful not to pull my hair too hard. He kissed me, experty sucking on my tongue, causing me to emit a sweet moan. He pulled back.

"I thought we'd go camping."

"What, like, in a tent?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of a cabin." He replied, smirking. "Why, think the monsters'll get you?"

"Hey, you'll be there, won't you?"

"You better believe it."

"Then I'll be fine."

He nodded.

"When should we leave, 'Tachi-sama?"

"I've got Monday off," he began. "so I guess we'll leave tomorrow."

"YAAAAAAAAY!" I cheered, hugging Itachi with all my strength.

The next day, we packed up, and headed out to a place called Nicolston Dam, he tells me it's a really nice place to go camping. It's Saturday, and we left about noon. We'll be home Monday evening, at around six. That's two and a half days of Itachi, Itachi, and more Itachi! It's gonna be so great! We'll go canoeing, fishing, cycling, and swimming ... maybe even skinny-dipping ... I outwardly blushed at the thought. We had never done that before. Would it be any different from our usual bath-tub fuck? I guess, if it's sex with Itachi, then any sex is good sex, right? Ooh, what a comforting thought.

Anyways, back to the trip. We'll sleep in a very small cabin, meaning we _might_ have to share a bed, and Itachi told me there was a nightclub down the street, and we'll go there one night. I just hope Itachi doesn't get drunk and do something stupid. It'd be so un-characteristic of him ...

"Why're you blushing, Neko-kun?" Itachi asked, yanking me from my thoughts, snaking his right arm around my shoulder, and turning to face me, cocking his head to the side, smirking. "Is my mere presense just _that_ overwhelming?"

I snuggled closer to him, tracing my fingers down his neck.

"Yes." I breathed.

He kissed my forehead lovingly, turning his eyes back to the road. After about five or six minutes of blissful silence, Itachi turned a left down a dirt road.

"We're almost there." He whispered, taking several locks of my bangs into his mouth and sucking on them gently. I bit at his outstretched neck, and he kissed my cheek before shifting the vehicle into a stop and pushing open his door. He drew his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans and flipped it open, rooting through it for something. I craned my neck to gaze into his wallet curiously. He pulled out what looked like a fifty and a twenty and placed it in his mouth, busying his hands in his wallet again.

"What're you looking for?" I asked.

He mumbled something that I didn't understand, due to the bills in his mouth.

"Didn't quite catch that."

He victoriously showed me a card. He snapped his wallet shut, removing the cash from his mouth.

"Reservations on a cabin." He replied, leaving me with a kiss on the nose. "I'll be back in a minute."

I nodded. He strolled off, climbing the steps up onto the concrete deck, before turning a left and pulling open the door. I sat in a happy silence, thinking about Itachi like I usually do whenever he's at work, or just out. My eyes fluttered shut and I laid there, close to sleep, until I heard the car door close. I drowzily opened my eyes, seeing Itachi paused midway in his action of inserting the key into the ignition. He smiled, pushing back my hair and affectionately running his fingers through it.

"Neko-kun, we're almost there."

I gave a small, lazy nod, shifting so that I was moreso leaning against Itachi. He snaked his right arm around my shoulders, embracing me warmly, while using his left arm to steer as he drove past the gate, turning down a gravel road. I snuggled closer to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my cheek and the side of my head against his chest. I felt his heart beating at a leisurely pace, as he lazily stroked my hair, twisting the silken strands between his long, talented fingers. Fingers that always seemed to know where to place the lightest touch that could leave one panting. Fingers that leave skin burning with desire. But that's off the topic at the moment. Home in senses to this very moment. Itachi. Being sweet. Yay.

I felt the car come to a halt, as Itachi skillfully disentangled my arms from him, like he could always seem to be able to do. He swung his legs to the left and stood up, stretching after the semi-long drive. I crawled to the edge of the driver's seat and clambered out after him. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. (A/n: Nicolston Dam is an actual place, btw. I've been there loads of times.) I gazed at the river, the water a cool green. The trees around me provided the perfect amount of shade, and the grass underneath my feet was soft and a healthy emerald. I was lost in my analysis of my setting, and jumped when strong arms locked around my waist from behind.

"Are you 'fraid of me, Neko-kun?" breathed that all-too-farmiliar voice in my ear. I relaxed into his embrace, turning my neck at an impossible angle and latching my mouth to his. (A/n: FRANK!) We made out for a little longer, before my neck felt like I needed to snap it in two to make it feel better. A squeak spilled into our semi-passionate kiss, as I protested against the torture on my neck. Itachi gave a final suck on my tongue, and I pulled away.

I placed my hand on my neck, rotating my chin on my shoulders, only to hear a relieving crack. Itachi whirled me around, pulling me by my shoulders, turning me flush against him. I figuratively melted in his arms. He laced his fingers in mine, kissing my neck, before he picked up our sleeping bags in his other hand and lead me into the cabin we had parked at. It was small, only having room for a one double bed, a dresser with a few drawers in it, a small heater, and a rickety little table. To put it bluntly; crap. (A/n: It's not crap. The furniture at Nicolston is actually sturdy and really nice. But this is just for the sake of the story, merely because I _can_.)

I nudged him. "Hey, I bet it'll squeak if we have sex."

He smirked. "Than bring on the squeaking." He sucked on my neck again, pushing me further inside and down on the bed. Believe it or not, the bed _did_ squeak, but I failed to inform Itachi of my correctness as he pulled my shirt up, and I tipped my head back and moaned when he sucked and licked my nipple. I can't even tell which one, what with the feeling of heavy, smokey, hazy clouds, lust blurring my thoughts and mind. He suddenly bit down on the innocent, unexpecting nipple, causing me to slam my eyes shut and cry out, in a mix of twisted pleasure and pain. My wits were, however, slightly about me, as I weaved my fingers into his hair, yanking lightly. He paused, his mouth still glued to my chest, looking up at me with michevious, gorgeous red eyes, questioning my protest.

"S-stop ..." I panted. He gave yet another of his irresistable, sexy smirks, before defying my request, repeating the same procedure with the other nipple, causing me to cry out and arch my back once again, my hands falling out of his hair and fisting themselves in the sheets on either side of me. I seriously had no idea my nipples were so sensitive! It was as if every nerve ending in my body seemed to gather at the exact point where Itachi's hot mouth touched. It felt_ amazing_.

He continued his descent down my chest, licking, sucking, kissing and biting. He paused to dip his tongue in my navel, and I gave a raw cry of suprise.

The cry seemed to have only surged him on more, despite my request for him to stop, and soon after that sound was made, my shorts and boxers had been long forgotten, lying in oblivion, draped haphazardly over the side of the heater.

I writhed in ecstasy, which also seemed to excite Itachi more, as he placed feather-light kisses around my hips, lower stomach, and upper-thigh. He purposely ignored and avoided my arousal, which only tortured me more. I whimpered with need, and he slowly moved his mouth down my stomach, before pausing, gazing thoughtfully at my aching erection. I thrust my hips towards him, but he _just_ moved before I could get any sufficient relief or friction by touching him.

He just continued to stare at me curiously, as if wondering what to do next. I was casually irritated with the fact that he wouldn't touch me, so I sat up slowly, my mouth opened to speak.

He crawled up my body, making a point to rub himself against my groin when he moved, causing me to moan his name loudly. He then shoved his tongue into my open mouth, and I felt my erection pushing into his stomach, and, despite the fact the he was still wearing his shirt, which covered his stomach, even if barely, I could still seek friction against the material.

I ground my hips against his stomach, panting and moaning loudly again. Itachi then put a stop to my pleasure, restraining my hips with his knees. He continued to kiss me, and I continued to struggle helplessly against him.

He gave into my pleas, leaving my mouth and moving back down my body, before he paused again, gazing at the erection before him.

"Wow, Neko-kun," he commented suddenly. "that's some boner you've got there."

I rolled my eyes. "You think?"

"No, really, it's like, a magnificent stiffie." he muttered in awe.

"Yeah, well, if it's so magnificent, then lick it." I stated hopefully. Maybe he's playful today ... I guess I'll just play along. As long at it gets me _some_ kind of relief.

"Why?" He asked curiously.

"Because it tastes really good." I informed him, smirking. "Or kiss it. It'll like you then."

He shrugged, kissing the tip of my cock softly. He slowly moved his kisses up and down my erection, I moaned loudly all the time. But it just wasn't enough. Itachi was enjoying this. He was enjoying torturing me, and he would draw this out for as long as he could, until he's satisfied.

"... H-harder ..." I pleaded. He stared at me thoughtfully again. I remembered how he had once told me how much it turned him on when I moaned his name. "... Please, I-Itachi-s-sama ...?" He gave his trademark smirk, licking my dick experimentally. I tipped my head back, letting the emotions and feelings, racing through my body, overwhelming me. He continued at this leisurely speed for awhile. The pace is killing me! Itachi is the most sadistic I've ever seen him! Normally, we rip eachother's clothes off, taking what we want and what we need, with some twisted, strange form of desperation. But today ... it's time to savour these feelings, take time in pleasuring eachother.

And I don't like that. Not at all.

I concentrated all I could on moving my left foot, lifting it up and placing it between Itachi's legs. I touched his cock softly with my foot. He paused, eyeing me with an unreadable look, before he suddenly slid my cock into his mouth, sucking gently and swirling his tongue around also. I almost quit the action of stroking him with my foot, before I fully registered the fact that he could suck harder than he was. I knew he could.

I pressed my foot against his crotch a little more firmly, and he _almost_ paused, but still wound up sucking like I had prayed he would. _This_ was the Itachi I had enjoyed having sex with, on so many other occasions.

"Aaahhh ... I ... Ita-chi ..." I moaned, rubbing his erection faster and harder with my foot. He moaned, the sound causing vibrations to run down my cock like electricity. I thrust my hips, trying to push my erection further into his mouth. I felt myself hit the back of his throat occasionally, and fuck, it felt good.

A certain tension built up inside me, and I knew I was going to cum soon. One of Itachi's hands wandered up my chest, twisting, pinching and fondling my nipple again. He lightly bit my cock and pinched my nipple at the exact same time, and that sent me off the edge. I let my foot fall onto the matress, and I felt myself collapse into the soft bed, feeling as if I almost fell through it. Itachi, unsuprisingly, swallowed my semen.

He flipped me on my stomach, his clothed erection jabbing at my ass. It was obvious what Itachi planned to do. Just what I wanted him to do, actually. He sat up on my legs, stripping off his shirt. I rolled over, pushing him off me. I fumbled with his jeans, tossing his belt over my shoulder carelessly. I pulled the zipper down and unbuttoned them, pulling them down to his ankles, where he kicked them off. With a jerk of my wrist, his boxers had also come off and he laid there, naked, vulnerable, and sexy. Before he could push me back to the position I was in before, I had taken his cock into my mouth and was sucking mercilessly. He writhed slightly, but otherwise gave no reaction.

I stared up at his face. His mouth was open slightly, as he panted out my name softly. Sweat rolled down his neck, his pale skin sporting a very slight flush, almost unnoticable. The colour was, however, beginning to creep down his neck, which made it at least a little more notable. He had red love-bites on his neck and jaw, from previous love-making sessions. His bangs were pasted to his forehead with sweat, the ribbon holding his hair back previously, in the loose braid he had put it in, had come undone, and his hair currently spread itself about the sheets, contrasting vividly, ebony strands, strewn randomly, to the blindingly white cotton the sheets were made of. His long, full eyelashes carried a few beads of sweat, his eyes opened widely, glazed with lust and desire. His pupils had contracted to an almost invisible size, the blood-red of his irises made him look strangely spooky, but they still hinted that grace they always had. There was a thin sheen of sweat over his chest, as the toned muscles of his chest wrippled beneath the pale, smooth skin. Scratches, bites, and hickeys decorated his chest randomly, as I vaguely remembered the occasions on which these marks had been administered. He truly is beautiful.

After my saliva had him properly lubricated, he turned me over on my stomach again.

"Are you ready?" He whispered.

I nodded, bracing myself for the explosions of pain that comes with the sex.

"You don't want me to prep you, or anything, do you?"

I shook my head. He positioned himself appropriately, slowly and carefully pushing into me. I grimaced, it always started off like this. It was always uncomformfatable and a little painful.

"Are you okay?" He asked. He semed unnaturally worried.

"Yes." I muttered irritably. "Just move. Make it feel good, 'Tachi-sama."

He shrugged, pulling out slowly, before snapping his hips forward again. I cried out, in pain. This did _not_ feel good. Yet, that is.

He continued his careful thrusting, until he hit what he had been going for; my sweet spot. I cried out, this time in absolute ecstasy. He smirked, pounding into me again, and again, I moaned, cried out, and panted all the time. He continued thrusting into me, squeezing his hand under our sweaty, naked bodies and pumping my cock in time with his thrust.

"... Aaahh, It-achi-sama! ..." I called, as he hit my spot hard, once again, and I came, soiling the wonderfully clean sheets of the bed, and I collapsed, letting Itachi have his sweet release, which came about seven thrusts after mine did. He too collapsed, our sweaty bodies pressed against eachother.

"Neko-kun, it's hot." He commented, after his breathing had steadied, and he still lay on top of me.

"We just had sex," I muttered wearily. "it's supposed to be hot."

"No, Neko-kun, it's _really_ hot."

I shrugged. "Maybe it's because you're still laying on me?"

He nodded, rolling off me and landing with a thump, beside me on the bed. There was a crack, and the bed caved in, and we fell down into the hole, pressed against eachother yet again.

"Man," Itachi commented, grinning like a fool. "I thought it would just squeak! We must've fucked pretty hard, huh?"

I nodded, smiling and snuggling myself against him. I then noticed the heat, just like Itachi had described. I looked around, and noticed a flaming mound in the corner.

"HOLD FUCK!" I exclaimed, jumping off Itachi and backing up against the wall.

"It's just a little fire, Neko-kun." Itachi commented, eyeing the flaming pile. "I'll bet it was your shorts. I think they landed on the heater."

He was right, my pants and boxers were nowhere to be found.

He smirked. "Haven't I told you how hot you are? You should be more careful!" (A/n: Ehehe, Itachi is so Ooc, it's incredible. Whee.)

He got up, picked his shorts up off the floor, pulled them on, and strolled over to our bags. He dug through a grocery bag, coming out with a carton of orange juice.

"D'you like orange juice?" He asked me. I shook my head. He shrugged, unplugging the cord for the heater, opening the carton and dumping it's contents on the still flaming heater. The flames died, and Itachi tossed the empty carton over his shoulder. He returned to the bed and sat down with me, in the gap.

"Today's been exciting, huh?" He asked.

I nodded. "Yep."

"But we just had sex, so we're happy little campers, right?"

I nodded again. "We sure are."

**The End.**

**Hooga booga! First full-blown lemmmmmon! Whee! I'm so proud of myself! Was it decent? Was it terrible? PLEASE TELL ME! I must know what you think! I thought I ended it well, actually. I liked it, alot. Hope you all did too. 'Specially you, Inge. You didn't like my EmoSasu lemon, so I hope you like my ItaNeko one. w Btw, Inge, I'm working Thursday and Friday, plus I'm getting school stuff on Saturday, and I have ... DUN DUN DUN! a _family reunion_ on Sunday. _Plus_, I'm working Monday _and_ Tuesday of next week. Please don't kill me!**

**Sensei out!**

**--End transmition.--**


	2. Review Replies

**A Happy Camper**

**(Review replies)**

**Alrighty, I've only recieved three reviews so far, I'll just answer them, then maybe post another, if I get some more reviews.**

**Let the replies begin!**

**KidManga: **Y'know it's not often I get the honour of replying these kinds of reviews, the ones where people go on about how they're scarred for life due to me not putting enough detail into the bloody summary. Come to think of it, I've never answered a review like that before. Fancy that. To point this out, very bluntly to you, I labelled it "Anal. Oral. Lemon. Whee.", Anal, like up the ass, not the vagina, oral, like sucking cock, not vagina, lemon, like two guys having sex in a cabin in a Southern Ontario campground, but, overall, I think the "Whee." in the summary says it all. Translation; DON'T READ THE BLOODY FIC, IF IT'S WRITTEN BY ME, AND IT'S RATED M! I stated, clearly in my profile, that I write _yaoi_, and very little het! That's gotta mean something. I also mentioned yaoi about two times, once in capitals, in the little author's note at the beginning. If you didn't visit my profile or read the author's note, then maybe you should have, hm? I did, however, enjoy your review. Especially that line "I MEAN JE-SUS-CHRIST! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS WITH A VAGINA, PUT THE WORD YAOI IN YOUR SUMMARY!", it made me laugh. Alrighty. That's my rant for you, go on, go run and play in traffic with all the other smart kids.

**bloody.dark.violent.girl: **Wow, your name definately gives the impression of a wholesome, good-hearted reviewer, doesn't it? Yes, embarassing as it is, it was my first full-blown lemon. I grudgingly admit this, but I have, however, done two other fics, similar to this one, but they cut off after a short, poorly-described oral scene. I'm also working on one with a small handjob scene. But still. Lemon. Was this fun to write? You better believe it. As for the whole "I hate yaoi relationships" thingy? I could have hoped for a better review from a ... reviewer ... yeah, but I could have hoped for a better review, and I'd love for you to join the dark side. After all, we have cookies. OOC PWNS YOU IN THE FACE, BIATCHE! ... but a very nice and very much appreciated review. Thank you.

**Tsunade-Chan1: **I usually make a note to stock up on paper towels before surfing Maybe you should too. About the only advice I have to give is that you should really whipe off that keyboard of yours. The blood looks like murder, and the drool looks like drool.

**Review some more! Please! I like answering reviews!**

**Sensei out!**

**--End transmition.--**


End file.
